You know, bro—home is such a viey Хороший Zuflucht, so we must zhenxi time…  
——Excerpt from Hua Xin’s literary collection.

Ah, another wonderful weekend…  
Hua Xin lounged contentedly in her chair, her cropped sleeve riding up and revealing a smooth, pale stretch of exposed abdomen.  

Yesterday’s trip to class had passed without major incident, and now she was facing another glorious five-day break (smug grin).  
School? Easy as picking something out of a pocket! 😉  
All she needed was two days of classes—just sleep next to Xia Yan and she was good to go 💤.  

As a socially anxious shut-in, Hua Xin’s routine was simple: go out brainlessly, attend class, leave, go home. But poor Xia Yan—the ever-dutiful “Qing Dynasty Magistrate”—had to deal with *so much more*.  

“If I lived in the Song Dynasty, I’d outshine even Su Shi~”  
“All the palace maids would fawn over me~”  

The girl hummed cheerfully. Spotting a slightly unfamiliar but now-online game ID, she eagerly grabbed her headset, fingers poised excitedly over her keyboard and mouse.  

WOW!! Today was the day she’d finally graduate from Diamond! 😋  

“Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!”  

A voice call request popped up. She squinted—“#1 Best Online Son.”  

Without hesitation, Hua Xin hit decline. A smug smirk crept onto her lips. That perverted shut-in dared request a voice call? After witnessing his creepy antics firsthand, she viewed him purely as a climbing tool and gold-farming minion…  

“Ding! QQ Wallet received: 20 yuan.”  

In a flash, Hua Xin opened the chat and sent a voice call request herself.  

My husband.

…Wait, who would refuse money? 🤑 Just chatting—big deal! After all, he’s just an innocent little boy who probably just wants to hear my cute, soft, girly voice. Totally understandable~  

Seriously though, no need to be so generous (😆).  

“Heyyy? Babe, say something 😊.”  

Suddenly, a deep, magnetic, richly resonant voice surged through Hua Xin’s headphones like an electric current. Her beautiful eyes rolled back, whites showing, cheeks flushed unnaturally, a sweet drool trickling from the corner of her mouth. Her silky hair even seemed to frizz slightly from the shock.  

Her legs went limp, twitching weakly under the desk.  

She sat frozen in her chair, expression locked in something like this:  
🥵✌︎(ᐛ)✌︎🥵  

As if that voice alone had triggered some bizarre physiological response, she slumped there motionless…  

“Babe, say something! 😭”  
“Don’t ignore me! I’ll buy you skins! 😭”  

Skins??

At the mention of skins, Hua Xin snapped back to consciousness. Dazed, she sat still for a moment… then yanked the headset off and hurled it to the floor, shouting furiously:  
“WHAT THE HELL KIND OF HEADSET IS THIS?! WHY IS IT ELECTROCUTING ME?! 😡 WHO MAKES THIS CRAP?!”  

Meanwhile, Xia Yan—having just savored her sweet voice—leaned back contentedly in his internet café gaming chair, adjusting his mic to lower his pitch a little more.  

Yep… her voice really is lovely…

Then came the sound of Hua Xin violently smashing her headset.  

Xia Yan:  

The girl, now utterly enraged 💢😡, stomped viciously on the “i9-grade military-spec gaming headset” that had started leaking electricity after only four months of use—despite costing peanuts.  

Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud!  

Xia Yan:  

A minute later, exhausted, Hua Xin collapsed back into her chair, wiping drool from her lips. Heart still pounding, she patted her chest nervously.  

The mighty sea answers with crashing waves…

How dare it electrocute her like that!  
What if she’d mutated into a superhero?!  

Electro-Woman?
National Electric Human?
Steam Locomotive?!

…Wait a sec 🤔…  
If electrocution can turn someone into a superhero—could it possibly regrow it?!  

A sudden spark lit her eyes. She glanced meaningfully at the now-shattered headset.  

…Nah.  
More likely she’d just end up charred black before any miracle happened.  

Besides—if *it* had already run off to find freedom and happiness… maybe she shouldn’t drag it back. Even if it *did* regrow, it wouldn’t be the same it anymore. (Sad.)  

Her gaze drifted back to the glowing computer screen—and suddenly she remembered: she still had ranked games to play… and, uh…  

…Oh no.  

Her eyes snapped to the headphone jack still plugged into her PC.  

That… shrimp-headed idiot… was he okay?! 😨  

Panic set in. What if he sued her for medical bills? What if the cops got involved?! 😱  

With an awkward laugh, she yanked the cable out and muttered weakly, “Uh… hey… you didn’t, like… *die* or anything, right?”  

“I’m done for (panting)… my ears are bleeding (weakly)… what did you say, babe? (shrimp-brain) Did you just… say you *love* me?”  

“I said you 🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦.”  

She deadpanned as she delivered the verbal smackdown.  

“Feels so good 🥵.”  

“Your voice is so damn cute, babe 🥰.”  

“Why were you acting like that just now?!”  

Hua Xin twitched. Sure, his voice was undeniably hot—but she couldn’t take it anymore!  

“Stop acting like a cutesy little lapdog! Be more *manly*!”  

“Ohhh, so you like the ‘bad boy’ type, huh, babe? How’s this? Do you like it? (switches to sultry vocal fry)”  

“I like you 🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦.”  

…  

“Alright, fine. I’ll talk normally now.”  

Hearing his voice return to that deep, composed tone, Hua Xin finally exhaled in relief.  

No headset? Whatever. Time to climb ranks.  

With haughty pride, she declared, “That’s more like it. Queue us up.”  

“Wait, babe—how’d you drop to Diamond IV?!”  
“My throwaway account’s already Diamond III. (Critical hit.)”  

Hua Xin instantly turned beet red 😡. “How is that MY fault?! Look at these teammates!”  

“Hmm… ‘Meow’ went 0/7, ‘Titan’ 0/5, ‘Lulu’ 1/7, ‘Lux’ 2/11… babe, your entire scoreboard’s red 🤔.”  

Xia Yan suppressed a laugh, feigning shock.  

“…”  

“Don’t pry into a beautiful girl’s business!” Hua Xin shot back, cheeks pink but voice defiant.  

…Even as her mouse clicked “Accept” on the friend request from “Meow Husband.”  

Being called “babe” made her skin crawl.  
It felt… like they were *actually* dating.  

And—wait.  
He’d even changed his in-game name to match hers?!  

Her expression snapped into laser-sharp clarity 😨.  

As a seasoned netizen, she instantly recognized the danger zone she’d wandered into.  

ABSOLUTELY…  
NO FEMDOM CORRUPTION!!!  

Body: girl.  
Heart: greedy capitalist.  

The true male soul sleeping within her—awakened.  

Clearing her throat with icy arrogance, she commanded:  
“Don’t call me ‘babe.’ Call me *Master*.”  

“Master.”  

He didn’t even hesitate. Hua Xin’s breath hitched.  

“Don’t you have ANY shame?!”  

Xia Yan sounded genuinely confused: “If Master wants roleplay, I’m happy to oblige. After all… we *are* a couple.”  

She nearly cracked: “You’re such a perverted Shui—” (“Shui” = Xia Yan’s online alias: “Shui Ge Ge,” short for “Bro Shui.”)  

“I’m only perverted for you, Master.”  

Then, as the match loaded, he asked casually: “Hero select—what are we playing?”  

Seeing he’d taken AD carry and she was support, Hua Xin said offhandedly:  
“You Ashe, I support?”  

Xia Yan: “Uh… Love? 🥵”  

Hua Xin: “? 🤔”  

It took her a beat…  
…then it hit her.  

Her face exploded crimson. Eyes squeezed shut in flustered rage, she mentally cursed the smug, satisfied shrimp-head on the other end of the line.  

How can someone be this shameless and perverted?! (Mortified!)