“Wife, has that random guy been bothering you again? 😡”  

“I’m telling you—I totally get how these loser guys think. If he’s not after your beauty, I’ll stand on my head and write my name backward with a pen through my belly button. 😎”  

“If you’re scared, just tell me where you are. I’ll come over to calm your nerves 😘 and warm up those icy little feet of yours too... 😋”  

“?”  

Faced with such outrageous nonsense, Hua Xin nearly punched straight through her monitor.  

“Get lost, you pervert! 😡”  

“Wife called me mean! Wife called me mean! But I love you the most, meow~ 😏”  

“...”  

Hua Xin wordlessly pulled the ice pack—wrapped in a towel—from atop her head 💎.  

Though there wasn’t a big bump, it still hurt like hell…  

“I was just scared you’d leave me! You never agree to meet up in person. What if some shady loser cheats on me behind my back? I’d cry real tears… 😭”  

Wahhh wahhh wahhh…  

Xia Yan fake-sobbed dramatically for effect.  

“I’ve stayed pure for you this whole time! Today some sketchy girl tried getting my attention, but I didn’t fall for it—I immediately went to hang out with my bro instead… Can my wife please praise me? 🥰”  

Lao Shui had practically morphed into “Wife Monster,” clingy and dripping with saccharine affection.  

The girl twitched her lips, forcing down both psychological and physical discomfort. Even after nearly a month of online dating with this ridiculous shrimp-headed dude, she still couldn’t get used to his sheer cringe levels.  

Seriously… a construction worker like you getting girls throwing themselves at you? Did you hallucinate from breathing too much concrete dust? How can someone be this delusionally confident? (Disgusted face)  

In Lao Shui’s carefully curated online persona for Hua Xin, he was the hardworking, upward-striving civil engineering senior 👷🏻♀️—which supposedly explained his visible abs and muscles.  

How could anyone be this repulsive? (So gross...)  

“Send money, or we break up.”  

Hua Xin delivered her ultimatum coldly.  

Ding! QQ Wallet received: fifty yuan.  

“My loyalty in love is unwavering—I’ll only ever love one person in my life. 😋”  

(Though who that person is… remains unspecified.)  

“Don’t worry, Lao Shui! 😎”  

The girl suddenly declared with righteous conviction, eyes sparkling as she clutched her phone tightly.  

Her balance had just increased—maybe this month she could afford to eat plain rice every day! 🍚  

Wait… repulsive? Nah. This was clearly character. Full of charm and personality! 😊  

Suddenly, a muffled commotion crackled through her two-yuan, mail-order speakers.  

Lao Shui’s voice dropped to a hushed, cautious whisper: “Babe, my workmates are back. Gotta go—talk later. Mua! 😘”  

“Work hard. Bring me more bricks to fund me.”  

Her tone turned seductive: “If you can’t earn at least 300 yuan a day as a laborer, I’ll dump you. 😈”  

“At your age, how dare you even think about resting?” (Classic PUA tactic.)  

“Of course I’ll work hard to earn enough to marry—”  

Before he could finish, Hua Xin hung up the QQ voice call.  

Finally, that artificially deep, bubble-voiced nonsense vanished from her ears. Seriously—did he actually believe his voice sounded magnetic? (Okay, fine… it kinda did.)  

Heh. Marry who? I’m eighteen this year—and male! 😨  

…  

Glancing down at her own pale, delicate hands, the girl fell silent and quickly brushed past that topic.  

She leaned back in her gaming chair, its casters rolling smoothly across the floor. Instantly, a pair of porcelain-white, slender legs emerged from beneath the desk into the open air.  

Not an ounce too thin, nor a gram too plump—perfectly sculpted.  

Except for one flaw: a noticeable bruise just below her right kneecap, from earlier when she’d tripped into a pillar and fallen hard onto the pavement.  

”La la la la la da da da da da~”  

Now that she’d collected her “online boyfriend fee,” her mood lifted significantly—even the throbbing ache on her head seemed to fade.  

Still humming cheerfully, Hua Xin stretched her legs straight out, wiggling her bare toes free from her slippers onto the cool floor. With one hand, she struck a playful “V” sign beside her thigh, aiming her phone downward to perfectly frame both her hand and legs in the shot.  

Click.  

A completely unedited, utterly scorching leg photo was freshly captured.  

She admired it thoughtfully 🤔.  

How to describe it?  

Well… it surely stirred primal urges—making one want to squeeze, thrust, grip tightly with both hands, and drive home with relentless force until utterly spent. 😏  

Hua Xin quietly ran her fingers repeatedly over the smooth skin of her own legs.  

So soft… so silky… so damn good… 😏  

Why does this have to be me?! If only this were my wife—if only this were my 2D waifu! 😭😭  

Tears welling up, she hit send, then launched herself onto her bed, clutching a pillow and rolling around gleefully as visions of ever-growing bank balances danced in her head.  

There was no way Lao Shui could resist becoming her obedient ATM after seeing that!  

…Wait. Was this maybe a bit too evil?  

Hmm… Didn’t she once swear something about never selling her soul or body? 🤔  

Ding!  

The microwave beeped—like a magical cat treat summoning her instantly to the kitchen.  

Time for rice! 😋😋  

————————  

Boys’ Dormitory 1225, Shanghai University.  

Xia Yan sat alone inside the dorm’s private bathroom, perched on the closed toilet lid, eyes shut tight. His phone rested on his lap as he took slow, rhythmic deep breaths.  

Softly, he chanted under his breath:  
“Clear heart like water; water is the heart.  
No wind stirs; waves lie still.  
Alone in the bamboo grove, I play my zither and whistle.  
In meditative silence, demons flee.  
My heart holds no cunning—Heaven rewards diligence.  
My righteousness strikes fear into ghosts and ghouls…”  

“I also love beautiful legs… 😍”  

Oops—messed up the chant.  

Yet Xia Yan’s handsome face remained serene, as if nothing had happened.  

…If you ignored the conspicuous bulge straining against his shorts.  

“Yan-ge! Are you almost done?! It’s scorching out here—I need to shower! I gotta wash off this xx stuff 😭!!”  

“Same here, Yan-ge!! That girl kept leaning into me, saying I smelled ‘so nice’—I’m practically glued to her now, ughhh!!”  

“Dude, don’t flatter yourself—her nose must be AI-enhanced or something.”  

“Shh, go play elsewhere.”  

“You’re accusing me?! I’m just keeping up with trends!”  

Listening to Mu Feng and Xiang Guan bicker outside, Xia Yan grew even more irritated in the sweltering summer heat.  

Just as he’d finally calmed his inner fire with the Clear-Mind Mantra, it roared back to life.  

He opened his eyes slowly, staring helplessly at his stubbornly unyielding “little brother,” which seemed determined to express its frustration and indignation.  

He couldn’t possibly walk out like this…  

Today was Day 899—the eve of breaking through the 900-day barrier, a moment of critical importance! 😨  

How could he let himself…?  

Almost unconsciously, Xia Yan reopened his phone.  

Tapped Photos → scrolled down → traced an “L” pattern on screen.  

Entered his hidden album.  

At the top: Hua Xin’s latest leg pic—hand flashing a “V,” bare legs gleaming.  

Swipe.  

Another shot of her bare feet 🥰.  

Swipe.  

That same devastating leg photo again 😏.  

Gulp.  

Xia Yan swallowed hard 😍.  

Strangely, despite having seen countless stunning real-life beauties and endless arrays of uniformed girls in skirts, none had ever sparked desire in him.  

But Hua Xin was the exception.  

Every single part of her drew him in irresistibly.  

Perhaps it was because he’d suppressed himself for too long. Now, after 899 days of online madness, Xia Yan finally understood what “burning with lust” truly meant.  

“I x-mi.”  

He stated calmly.  

“Copy that.”  

“OK, won’t rush you.”  

Xia Yan closed his eyes again, took a deep breath, opened a video app, and turned up the volume:  
“I am Jeremy Waaah—”  

Glancing back at his still-defiant little soldier, he sighed in resignation and leaned further back against the wall.  

“Hold on…”  

“You can do this, Xia Yan. Recite the mantra… Beautiful legs… Jade-like feet… uh…”  

“Just. Hold. Back. 😡😡…”