Would it… feel better than jerking off? 😳

“Smells so good, so good, so good—yoga pants~”  
“Mmm, mmm, mmm… that scent’ll make him lose control 😋～～”

Hua Xin hummed a little tune, lying face-down on her bed, scrolling through her phone in high spirits. Her long, fair legs were exposed to the air, swaying up and down playfully. Her delicate, translucent toes curled and stretched intermittently, while beneath her shorts, her plump buttocks gently shifted with each movement—as if tempting someone to mount her and thrust hard into her… 😏

Meanwhile, through some mysterious cross-dimensional connection, someone else was struck by a sudden, inexplicable intuition.

Far away at school, Xia Yan—normally cool and composed in his white dress shirt and blazer—suddenly felt an odd wave of heat surge through his chest… and elsewhere.  
He continued smiling politely as he waited for the candidate ahead of him to finish their self-introduction during the interview. Not a single trace of emotion showed on his face—except for the quiet, subtle unbuttoning of the top button on his shirt.

*Sigh…*  
*The path of celibacy is indeed long and arduous… 😇*

…He hadn’t even checked in on his favorite forum today yet.  
Day 897.

—

Inside her digital “black room,” her phone screen lit up with a series of glaring moderation tags—minimum ten yellow cards’ worth—flashing brightly like medals of honor.

These badges symbolized the undying loyalty of Tieba users, defiant against the censorship of platforms like Weibo or Xiaohongshu! 😡

The girl hadn’t browsed the forums or kept up with the latest drama in days. Today, finally free, she decided to indulge herself a little—and besides, she still hadn’t read the replies to the posts she’d made earlier.

😱  
Seeing *99+* notifications, Hua Xin froze for a second.

She hadn’t even been spamming threads in Yuannei Bar or the 2D Game Bar lately—how did this happen??

Ignoring the likes and comments for now, she tapped directly into her own post.

 Dong Yi: Go measure your bust size already.  
 SuperLoverLiuXing: Bro, you’re treating this like wellness 😃  
 FengHuanLong: Now that you’re a cute girl, go snag yourself a rich boyfriend 😋  
 AbldA: Damn it… why does my rational mind always cap me at three sessions max? 😭

She scrolled silently through the replies. This had been the thread she posted on Day One—her very first day *without a dick*. Now it had already garnered 73 comments.

Unbelievable…

And it only got weirder from there. Most replies were increasingly absurd, all written in jest—as if no one actually believed her story about jerking off *four times* and turning into a real-life girl was anything but fantasy!!!  

(Her own rough estimate? She was now a solid C+.)

Hua Xin wiped away imaginary tears from the corners of her eyes and closed the thread with a heavy heart.

She’d pinned her hopes on her fellow Tieba bros… only for them to treat her trauma like a punchline.

But did they even know how hard it had been for her to survive these past days *without her bro*?  
Did they understand the emotional weight behind every drop of her “tide music”??  
Or the journey she’d taken—from clumsy beginner to practiced pro—when facing off against Slimes and Tiger Tigers?? 😭😭

…Okay, okay—admittedly, it *had* left her wrists sore, back aching, and legs weak.

But one comment *had* really struck a chord…

 “Go snag yourself a rich boyfriend…” 🤔

Hua Xin tapped her smooth, hairless chin thoughtfully—missing the familiar stubble that used to scratch her fingers.

Everyone’s got their quirks: some people fetishize worn underwear, others are into feet, some eat with the ends of their chopsticks, brush their teeth before peeing, or love cracking their knuckles just to hear that *pop-pop* sound.

As for Hua Xin? She just enjoyed washing her hands… and occasionally giving Little Hua Xin some attention. 😉  
Totally normal behavior!

She set her phone down and mulled over the phrase: “snag a rich boyfriend.”

Her relationship with that weirdo “Shui” was still stuck firmly in the *flirty banter* zone.  
He’d only seen photos of her legs and feet. She’d only seen his abs and waist shots. They’d shared one voice call—mostly chatting about games (and him getting flustered).

They’d never actually *met*. No idea what the other really looked like, or anything about each other’s real lives.  
Just one thing was certain: they both lived in Shanghai.

TL;DR: Hua Xin had already scammed Xia Yan out of 200 RMB. 💰

At that thought, her earlier hesitation vanished. Her resolve hardened.

Perfect.  
She’d keep things ambiguous—but sprinkle in just enough temptation to keep him perpetually turned on. That way, she could keep milking him for cash and upgrade her lifestyle!  
If that shrimp-head wanted online dating? Fine—she’d “date” him! 😈

A mischievous smirk spread across her lips. Her eyes glinted with a devilish spark—a full-on *femdom gremlin* aura radiating from her petite frame. It was as if tiny black wings were about to sprout from her bare back beneath her T-shirt.

Manipulating men?  
She knew it like the back of her hand!

After all—*only men truly understand men!* (She puffed up proudly.)

She tapped open another thread she’d posted:  
**“For online dating: little-girl-next-door or mature seductress—which works better?”**

Pipe-Smoking Sniper: Seductress 😃  
BloodSplatterSky: Seductress 😃  
ThousandBlossoms: Seductress—I’ve loved older women since childhood 😍

Hua Xin absentmindedly brushed a finger along the soft crease where her two “slimes” met.  
It was hot… kinda sticky.

Looks like most guys really *did* prefer the mature type—gentle, intelligent, fair-skinned, alluring older sisters who could drown a man in tenderness…  
Honestly? *She* was into that type too—someone whose chest you could bury your face in until you couldn’t breathe… with *substantial* assets. 😳

But… wouldn’t that get expensive?  
All the online “seductress essentials” were black thigh-highs and stilettos!  
She could barely afford meals—how could she splurge on lingerie?

Wait a second… 🤯  
*Why should SHE pay??*

It’s not like *she* wanted to wear that stuff!  
Let that idiotic, shrimp-headed, fake-name-using loser—“Wu Yin Qi (Ba) Ba Lian Liu Yi”—*foot the bill*! 😋

“I’m an absolute genius…” she whispered to herself. “Born for online dating scams!”  
“After this score… can I finally get fried chicken? 🍗”

She rolled gleefully on the bed, hugging her phone, basking in her own brilliance.

And hey—*who ever said big boobs mean no brains?*  
Step right up and apologize!

Lost in daydreams, a tiny drool slipped from her lip as she imagined golden-brown, crispy, juicy fried chicken dancing across her ceiling…

*Slurp.*

But no—don’t celebrate too early. 🍾

Snapping back to reality, she refocused on her phone and opened her final thread:

**“How many steps does it take to seduce an innocent virgin boy?”**  
**“Let’s see what you fellow virgins have to say… (smirk)”**

WC Destiny0: Honestly? Just one step. Be nice to him and he’ll auto-seduce himself. Classic “She likes me!” delusion—top 3 male illusions of all time.  
MintBlueBoy: Easy when you’re on top 😋  
Lazy-HuedSaintess: Just ride him—he won’t handle it.  
Nonoka: Step 1: Wear white thigh-highs. Step 2: Step on his phallus with them. Step 3: Grind for ~30 seconds. Done. 😃

Hua Xin slowly lowered her phone, her mind involuntarily conjuring vivid images:  
herself in white thigh-highs… stepping onto *his* member… then straddling him, rising and falling… 🤯

“W-Wait… that’s ridiculous!!” she stammered.

Her face flushed crimson. Her overactive imagination had already replayed the *entire scene* in cinematic detail.

“I’m a man! A 100% pure, rugged alpha male!”  
“I’m a man! A tower of masculine strength!”  
“I’m a man! A hero who could move mountains!”  
“I’m—”

…Hmm.

Just then, a strange thought crept in uninvited.  
Her thighs instinctively squeezed together.

…*Would it actually… feel better than jerking off?*

😳