“Asaka, you… you just now—why didn’t you put him down on the grass beside the road?”  

The moment Xia Yan stepped into the dorm room, he heard a soft, slightly annoyed female voice from a game character.  

He hung his suit jacket neatly on the coat rack—(VI〥IIII「I Lin: Leek Alternate \ Tool Dove ⑤」 Dam)—then saw Mu Feng sitting silently in front of his computer, lost in thought.  

“What’s wrong? Stuck on the story?”  

Xia Yan, shirtless, walked over to Mu Feng, curiosity flickering in his eyes.  

His flawless musculature—defined abs and a lean, panther-like waist—was fully exposed to the air 😍, enough to make any woman who laid eyes on him instantly lose control, throw herself into his arms, and rub against him shamelessly while making cute little whimpers. 🥵  

Even Xiang Guan—a top-tier athletic guy known for his white socks and sports build—couldn’t hold a candle to him in terms of physique.  

Mu Feng let out a quiet sigh, pressed Win + Tab to close the game he’d loved for so long, and turned to Xia Yan with tear-filled eyes:  
“Yan-ge… 🥺”  
“I’ve lost all meaning in my journey… 😭 My life as Ling Meng Er has no purpose anymore!! 😭”  
“My… my Power of the King—AAAAAH! 😭😭😭”  

“Huh?”  

Xia Yan patted the sobbing Mu Feng on the back, bewildered. “Speak human.”  

He didn’t play these games himself, but he knew enough about the memes. Still…  
To everyone else, the ever-popular, sunshine-bro Xia Yan simply didn’t touch these platforms. 😉  

“It just means he wants to be a webcam streamer~ Dooo~ Dooo~ Juice~ Don’t worry about him, Yan-ge. O-God players always get emotionally wrecked by the plot.”  

“You! How dare you slander my purity out of thin air!”  

Mu Feng glared at him, face flushed red, eyes bloodshot with rage. 😡  

“How’d the student union interview go?”  

Xiang Guan popped his head up from his bed, completely ignoring Mu Feng.  

“I was just about to tell you guys,” Xia Yan said. “How about helping me out at the student union next week?”  
“It’s for the freshman welcome gala.”  

“What’s in it for us? 🤔 (Suspicious)” ×2  

Mu Feng instantly snapped back to reality and exchanged nervous glances with Xiang Guan.  

They’d already had enough of hauling desks, carrying textbooks, and doing all the dirty labor. With only twelve guys in their class, they were always the ones stuck with the grunt work. 😨  
And now… more forced labor?  

“Full marks on comprehensive evaluation and academic credits. If that’s not enough, I’ll personally compensate you.”  
“Lolitas, elegant older sisters, black-long-straight beauties—if you don’t find any, I’ll supply them myself.”  

Xia Yan pulled up a chair and sat beside Mu Feng, speaking with solemn conviction.  

“We’re in! (Excited) 😍” ×2  

But then Xiang Guan hesitated slightly and added, “If the Sports Department needs us, we might have to go there instead. The athletic meet’s coming right after the gala.”  

“You brought Mu Feng along too?”  

“Yep. I was worried he’d rot his limbs off playing ○○ games, so I dragged him to the Sports Department to get some exercise.”  

Surprisingly, Mu Feng didn’t argue. He just slumped face-down onto his mousepad—covered in illustrations of various anime girls—and clicked his mouse in silence.  

Ming Dynasty… Downloading… (Heartbroken)  

“Not bad,” Xia Yan nodded approvingly. Watching Xiang Guan climb down from his bed and Mu Feng sink deeper into depression, he paused briefly—then decided it was time to bring up Hua Xin.  

This welcome gala was the perfect chance to spark Hua Xin’s curiosity about social interaction.  

“There’s also something else I’d like to ask of you two.”  
“I’ll treat you to a meal afterward.”  

“Where’s the food?! (Keyword triggered) 😍” ×2  

At the word “meal,” both pairs of eyes lit up like stars.  

“Alright, kids—listen up. I’ll keep this short.”  

Xia Yan gathered them close with a mysterious expression.  

For dorm brothers, there’s nothing a good meal can’t solve.  
And if there is…  
Just double the portion and throw in an extra egg. 🥚  

——————————  

“Wahhhhhhhhhh…”  

Hua Xin sat quietly, tears streaming down her cheeks 😭, shoveling bites of Master Kong Spicy Beef Noodles into her mouth. She blew her nose into a tissue, then kept watching the drama on her screen with watery eyes.  

The dual stimulation of delicious food and emotional outrage made her sniffle softly.  

“Why can’t Xian Yu and Hai Ren just be honest with each other…?”  
“It’s literally just saying ‘I love you’ and then rolling around in bed! 😡”  

Her frustration grew. Soup still dripping from the corner of her mouth, she clenched her tiny fists at the screen, looking utterly adorable. 👊🏻  

“Ugh, every day that psycho Yin Yinsheng makes me sick! If I were there, I’d punch him dead—see if he dares act crazy again! 👊🏻”  

As the episode neared its end, she reluctantly got up to wash her bowl.  

A thin stream of water rinsed over her delicate hands and the greasy dish.  

Her long hair kept falling into her eyes, annoyingly obstructing her view.  

Earlier, the words from her “#1 Best Online Son” hadn’t just left her feeling失落 (disappointed).  
More than that—they’d planted deep suspicion: What’s Xia Yan really after by becoming my “friend”?  

Her hands stilled mid-scrub.  

Why would someone like him—an obvious social butterfly, surrounded by admirers and girls—go out of his way to befriend her, of all people? 🤔  

Thinking back… he’d even shown up on his motorcycle to pick her up for school right from the start.  
At that point, they’d barely exchanged words—just a simple leave-of-absence message.  
And everything since then had been his initiative, with barely any conversation…  

Slowly, she raised her head.  

The mirror reflected her breathtakingly beautiful face—eyes calm and thoughtful, radiating the icy elegance of a noble young lady from a wealthy family.  

“So gorgeous… me. 🤤”  
“Hehehehe~ 😋”  

Unfortunately, she couldn’t keep the composure for long. Before she knew it, she was practically leaning toward the mirror, ready to lick it.  

First, rule out the possibility that he discovered she’s a girl.  
If he had found out, there’s no way he’d stay calm—not even a saint could resist her, not even a single strand of her hair! (Confident.)  

So that clue led nowhere.  

If her identity wasn’t exposed, and they weren’t even close… then why was Xia Yan doing this?!  

Could he really just… want to be a nice guy? Purely altruistic?  

She scrubbed the bowl fiercely with baking soda, rinsed it under a gentle stream, and placed it neatly on the rack.  

Still no answer.  

And more importantly—why was she making such a big deal out of Xia Yan?  

Hua Xin fell silent.  

Had she really been bought off by a single ice cream? Was it worth crying and throwing tantrums over this damn sunshine-bro? What kind of man cries all day like this?! 😡  

As she walked, her unrestrained body—only covered by a band-aid over her pink nub—jiggled slightly with each step.  

Ugh…  

Body may be moe-girl, heart remains 100% male.  

He’s just a guy. Let him do whatever he wants. Why should she care so much? Better to watch more dramas and shower love on her 2D waifus.  

With that tsundere logic, she returned to her room.  

“Huh? Who added me to this WeChat group?”  

She stared blankly at her phone screen: “Loving Family Group (4)”—utterly confused.  

Then, a familiar name caught her eye.  

I Love QQ Speed: “Welcome, welcome~”  

Hua Xin silently opened his profile. Her beautiful eyes remained perfectly calm.  

Haha… what a coincidence. 🥰  

Who even are you? (Smiley face.)  

She set the phone down, expression unchanged, and murmured to herself:  
“Should I stab your kidneys 😈… or stab your heart 😈… or… cut off your thing? 😈”