Chapter 124 Chapter 124: The Farewell Letter
Chapter 124: The Farewell Letter
The Farewell Letter
——To my most, most, most beloved Tao Tao.
By the time you read this letter, I’m probably already asleep.
Deep in dreams, no longer able to disturb your life.
I once thought that love was a persistent chase, that loving you was a grand celebration.
Like fireworks beneath a starry sky, brief yet dazzling and brilliant.
I must be ill, or perhaps I’ve been a little unwell for a while. I’ve always been a burden to you, and I could actually sense it.
I didn’t want to make you sad, didn’t want to hurt you, didn’t want to interfere with your life, so I listened to you and slowly became obedient.
I thought this way I could gain your concern, gain your affection, but it turned out you were drifting further and further away from me.
I mustered the courage to confess my feelings to you, wanting to hide myself within your eyes, but then I realized it was all just unrequited love.
Remembering childhood, you pulled me out of the darkness, and I, hiding it from everyone, secretly gave you my chains.
From then on, I had a reason to see only you.
But I knew you didn’t like me; your eyes twinkled with starlight that had nothing to do with me. Those moments I longed to share were, in your eyes, nothing more than insignificant interludes.
I disrupted your life, like an uninvited breeze, disturbing your peaceful everyday.
I once thought my fervent feelings could move you, but I didn’t know that my obsession was just a burden in your life.
As time went on, I didn’t know if you were truly avoiding me, or if you had been resistant from the very beginning.
I’m not foolish; I could feel your perfunctory responses, your evasiveness.
But you wanted me to be a little fool, so I would continue to rely on you.
Even though I had been very careful, the outcome I dreaded still unfolded before my eyes.
Your father returned, and you also have your fiancé, your work, friends, mentor, family—your own life. And I’m not an inseparable part of it.
I... I might just be a passerby.
After all, I can give you nothing, except stand uselessly in place, watching you.
Immersed in a role-play, using various ways to prove how much I cared for you.
But what I received in return was still avoidance.
I can never let go of the happiness I felt when we were alone together before, but thinking about it carefully, I suppose I’m ultimately better off alone.
That way, no one will get hurt.
When it really came time to leave, there was a sense of emptiness. My heart was clearly harboring unease, yet I was also afraid of regretting it.
I could actually give up many things, but I still couldn’t give up the chance to meet you, even if it was one-sided.
I’d thought about whether I was important in your eyes, but our quarrel during summer vacation, the marriage contract that’s now arrived from afar, and your rejection, made me understand that it was all my own wishful thinking.
Of course, I don’t blame you, it’s just that I... I’m too cowardly.
I want to go back to where we first met, then hide far away. That way, I wouldn’t have met you, and my chains wouldn’t cause you pain.
I like the way you were shy and at a loss.
The way your eyes spoke but didn’t know what they were saying.
The way you looked ready to explode the world when I woke you up in the middle of the night.
The way you felt helpless towards me, yet couldn’t bear to let me go.
The way you’d look with eyes full of joy, meeting a more obedient me in the next life.
The way you look in my dreams.
Goodnight.
——Your Little (crossed out).
——Xiao Cheng.
...
In the living room, a pin drop could be heard. Inside the bathroom, doctors were still desperately trying to pull Chi Xiaocheng back from the brink of death.
Su Tao held the farewell letter, and teardrops the size of beans fell one after another onto the paper.
The wrenching pain in her heart had reached its peak, and her mind was filled with scene after scene recalled alongside the letter's contents.
Suffocating like a tide.
So, Xiao Cheng wasn't oblivious; she had already sensed Su Tao's avoidance of her.
But she had never shown it, pretending to obey, believing it would keep Su Tao by her side.
No wonder she asked that question on the bridge.
It was laughable that Su Tao had even thought Xiao Cheng's obsessive tendencies were getting better.
In reality, she had been suppressing herself, behaving so abnormally, simply because Su Tao had once said she preferred a more obedient Xiao Cheng.
Even in the final signature, the four characters "Your Xiao Cheng," she had crossed out the "Your" that she had originally written.
Indeed, irrevocably separated.
Xiao Cheng no longer belongs to me.
Hahahahaha...
Su Tao, oh, Su Tao, Xiao Cheng becoming like this is clearly your own doing!
What father's news, what marriage contract? It was clearly just someone Su Tao had never even met, yet she had listened to Xiao Ming's nonsense simply because she craved a little bit of paternal love, a feeling of kinship.
Wasn't Xiao Cheng an important family member too?
If Su Tao hadn't gone to find Xiao Ming, if she had listened to Dongfang Yang and broken things off earlier and returned sooner, even if she had just come back with Xiao Cheng directly from the police station.
Even if it had been just a minute, ten seconds earlier.
Would the outcome have been different?
"I'm the one who harmed Xiao Cheng."
Su Tao clutched the farewell letter tightly in her hand, uttering a painful and hoarse sound.
Leaning against the sofa with her eyes closed, she wondered if she was reminiscing or regretting.
Even Dongfang Yang, usually so talkative, fell silent.
He sat beside Su Tao, reading the farewell letter with her. Although he hadn't managed to read it all, he understood the general course of events.
An emotional breakdown due to a quarrel, then, knowing about the marriage contract and fiancé, she thought Su Tao didn't want her anymore, didn't care about her, and so chose to end her own life.
Dongfang Yang felt a tightness in his chest, and his mind couldn't help but flash back to that petite figure in the cafe, sweetly calling him boss and smiling.
He had only looked away for a moment, and already things had changed beyond recognition.
Could Su Tao be blamed?
Chi Xiaocheng herself already had some mental instability; she would overthink things.
If anyone was to blame, it was that marriage contract, it was that fellow Xiao Ming; that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
He just hadn't expected that Chi Xiaocheng and Su Tao, despite merely growing up together and having no blood relations...
...the profundity of their bond could be so immense.
"What an incredibly foolish idiot."
"It's not like you truly had no one who wanted you. If you liked this young master so much, all you had to do was say so; it's not like this young master couldn't afford to take care of you."
Dongfang Yang sighed softly, a sound only he could hear, then glanced sideways towards the bathroom, turning his head away unwillingly.
He didn't want to see Chi Xiaocheng covered in blood.
In his ear, Su Tao's helpless and lost voice rang out, "Dongfang Yang, what do you think I should do in the future?"
Without Xiao Cheng.
Xiao Cheng could even be said to have died because of her.
Previously, Su Tao had never noticed that a large part of her motivation to live had also come from Chi Xiaocheng!
Dongfang Yang stood up, hiding his weakness, and said in a deep voice, "Don't give up. Let's first hear what the doctors say."
Just then, a female doctor in her forties walked out of the bathroom.
Dongfang Yang patted Su Tao's shoulder. The latter didn't even have time to wipe away her tears.
Clutching that last, last shred of hope amidst despair, she asked, "Doc... Doctor, how is she?"
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