Chapter 278 Chapter 277: The Beginning Of Obsession
Chapter 277: The Beginning Of Obsession
A heavy heart felt like a person falling into an abyss, surrounded by loneliness and cold as they sank deeper and deeper, never reaching the bottom.
Looking up, there wasn't a sliver of light to be seen.
Su Tao dejectedly left the room.
She didn't dare to loudly reprimand Chi Xiaocheng. The words of retort reached her lips, but she didn't know how to speak. She clutched the suicide note in her hand, unconsciously squeezing it tightly.
Her fingernails pierced through the thin paper, then dug deeply into the flesh of her palm, leaving behind dark brown marks.
Su Tao stood in front of the sofa in the living room, her head hanging low, staring at the floor. Her usually neat high ponytail had fallen loose due to her bowed head, the disheveled hair covering her face, making it impossible to see her expression.
The method of awakening her memories was completely useless.
Xiaocheng was getting impatient with me again.
She clearly reacted to the hairpin, so why does she still have that memory-muddled look? Could it be that her memories can't be awakened at all!
Were they deleted?
No… no, that’s not right. The doctors all said it was about her subconscious.
Could it be that my subconscious is that annoying to her?
Am I really that annoying?
Did all the good times we had together mean nothing?
I’ve regretted it.
I've made up my mind.
I also want to love you properly.
I'm even willing to accept your yandere tendencies.
I just want you to like me again!
But why can't we be together like we were in the beginning!
Does being with me only bring pain!
Su Tao lowered her eyes, and Si Chen's words from yesterday suddenly flashed in her mind.
—Why don’t you just quit?
"Quit…"
Su Tao murmured the word, the tightness in her chest growing heavier.
She was under pressure, feeling heartache and pain, and constantly worrying about Xiaocheng’s memories. If she quit, she wouldn't have to worry about these things.
If she didn't stimulate Xiaocheng, she wouldn't recover her memories or feel any pain, and she could continue to live with a smile.
And their close, even "loving" relationship would simply return to how it was in middle school.
She would follow behind, affectionately calling her "Su Tao-jie."
How long ago was it that her wish was for Xiaocheng to return to how she was when she was little?
Saying she liked her to pretend, thinking about how to make her stop being yandere so they could return to their peaceful life from before.
Unlike now, where she was physically and mentally exhausted because of the words "like" and "love."
"When did I change and start liking Xiaocheng?"
Su Tao collapsed onto the sofa, leaning her head against the back, staring blankly at the ceiling.
Was it after she attempted suicide?
Or later, when she died accidentally protecting her?
Or did she always like her, but just didn't realize her own feelings?
Or was it because she heard so many of her obsessive declarations of love that she was influenced and developed the illusion that she liked her too?
"We're both girls, after all..."
Su Tao murmured the words. She couldn't remember how she fell in love with Chi Xiaocheng, but there was no doubt that she did like her.
In the beginning, she felt relaxed and comfortable by her side, infatuated with the scent on her, and those soft lips; then she realized that she was gradually becoming inseparable from her, and now she was jealous, angry, and unhappy because of Fang Ning and Dongfang Yang.
If she quit now, and she and Xiaocheng were just sisters like before, could they still be together?
Su Tao tried to imagine that future.
Then she found that she couldn't imagine it. Whenever she thought about Chi Xiaocheng marrying someone else in the future, she felt a rejecting pang of pain in her heart.
Her gaze wandered around the living room.
She caught sight of the pair of lemon-yellow slippers in the entryway.
Fang Ning, the petite girl who had temporarily left, would come back, and would sleep with Xiaocheng tonight.
The hesitation in her eyes suddenly turned fierce.
"Quit? Never!"
Su Tao crumpled the suicide note into a ball and threw it hard into the trash can!
This wasn't the same as the angry words she said to Si Chen. She now realized that she couldn't lose Xiaocheng. She had been supported her whole life, and it was the same in college. Even during the months when they quarreled, she wasn't very happy.
Only when she was by Xiaocheng’s side could she feel a sense of relaxation.
That sachet, her embrace, and the memories of shopping and dating together, that was the best proof.
"No... no, it's that Xiaocheng can't leave me."
Su Tao's gaze shifted from the lemon-yellow slippers to Chi Xiaocheng's room. Her hair was disheveled and draped over her shoulders, her eyes bloodshot, making her look somewhat red.
"Since she was little, even after college, Xiaocheng would get hurt if she left me. She used to be bullied, and in college, she was bullied by her roommates."
"Si Chen never gets up early without a profit. If he says he's pursuing Xiaocheng, it must be because Xiaocheng has something he can profit from."
"Fang Ning is an orphan, and Xiaocheng saved her. She's just greedy for the feeling of being redeemed by Xiaocheng. She doesn't like Xiaocheng at all, and she definitely can't be with Xiaocheng!"
"Dongfang Yang… Dongfang Yang he… he… he's an idiot. If such a wealthy family targeted Xiaocheng, he definitely couldn't protect her and would be dragged into the vortex of the upper class."
Su Tao seemed to understand everything, and her eyes became more and more firm. "That's right, Xiaocheng won't get hurt only if she's with me, so it's not that I can't leave Xiaocheng, but that I can't let her get hurt."
"So I can't quit!"
She couldn't despair yet. It was just that her memory awakening had failed for now. The doctors hadn't taken action yet, and there were still other ways to awaken Xiaocheng's memories.
As for Xiaocheng being in pain…
There was no way around it. It was necessary. Only after experiencing pain could she feel more of the goodness.
I’m sorry, Xiaocheng, this time, let me be a little selfish.
For myself, and for you.
She took a deep breath, and then slapped herself hard on the face.
The pain calmed her down a lot. After covering the mark of the palm on her face, she knocked on Chi Xiaocheng's door.
Her expression was normal, and she apologized very sincerely.
As if the series of events that had just happened had never occurred.
And Su Tao was very measured. Knowing that Chi Xiaocheng might be in a bad mood right now, she apologized, but didn't immediately beg for Chi Xiaocheng's forgiveness. Instead, after stating her position, she turned and left.
Very normal, so normal that it was a little abnormal.
It was precisely at this time that Chi Xiaocheng had the opportunity to secretly put on the state glasses behind her back.
And this time, the refreshed state truly surprised Chi Xiaocheng.
[Su Tao]
[Height: 166]
[Weight: 97]
[Size: C]
[Current State: Self-blame, extreme lack of confidence, impatience, excessive hesitation, mild mental distraction, mild self-loathing, moderate stress, moderate delusions, loss of appetite, sleep deprivation, internal heat, period, low self-control, self-deception, mild paranoia]
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