Chapter 131 Chapter 131 Facing One'S Own Feelings
Chapter 131 Facing One'S Own Feelings
"Three times, oh, three times!"
Professor Su rushed over. After reviewing Chi Xiaocheng's hospitalization records and psychological reports, and learning about all the incidents of Chi Xiaocheng attempting to end her life, as a doctor, there were some things she truly had to get off her chest.
Professor Su sat across from Su Tao, glancing at Su Tao's complexion. "How are you feeling right now? Can you take in what I'm saying?"
Su Tao paused at the words, then nodded quickly.
"In that case, I'll speak my mind then," Professor Su said, fuming with rage. "How have you been a guardian? In just one short month, three severe hospitalizations, twice on the brink of death."
"Don't tell me you don't know that the little one has a weak constitution congenitally and suffered from insufficient nutrition later in life."
"I won't even mention the scratches on her arm. I understand you might not have known earlier if this type of mental patient was secretly self-harming."
"But since you do know, why didn't you stop her? Why didn't you watch over her closely?"
"Or do you really think she's Lu Bu? Even Red Hare, ridden by Lu Bu daily, isn't put through that much wear and tear!"
Professor Su rattled off a long string of words. Seeing Su Tao's head bowed so low, she finally softened her tone. "If you blame me for speaking too harshly, you can scold me behind my back later. I don't mind."
"But you need to know, I'm speaking this harshly precisely to make you take this seriously!"
"This time, that little one was lucky. What about next time, the time after that? You know her mental state is unstable. Who knows when she might be stimulated again and try it once more."
Su Tao bit her lower lip, nodding continuously. "I'm sorry, Doctor. There won't be a next time. I'll definitely watch over her properly."
Professor Su sighed. "Alright, I didn't just come here to lecture you. Since I'm taking over as the little one's attending physician, I need to understand her full situation. I hope you won't hide too much from me."
"Understood, Doctor."
Feeling that the doctor in front of her truly cared for Chi Xiaocheng, Su Tao spent an entire afternoon talking with the doctor, explaining every single detail, from Chi Xiaocheng's childhood all the way to her university experiences.
However, as she listened, Professor Su's expression changed.
Just as Qian Qing's had changed before.
"Wait a moment, you're saying that girl's feelings for you are actually... love?"
This was different from what Oriental Yang had said!
Su Tao nodded gently. "Two psychologists analyzed it for me before. It was my incorrect guidance when she was little that led to this current situation."
"Hmm, this is a bit tricky," Professor Su rubbed her temples. "Listening now, the main reason for that little one's mental instability is a lack of security, believing you don't care about her, which leads to suicidal thoughts."
"This is actually quite easy to solve: find her a boyfriend."
"But that's assuming you two have the sisterly relationship Oriental Yang mentioned."
Su Tao bit her lip, then gently raised a hand to interrupt. "Doctor, finding Xiaocheng... a boyfriend wouldn't work, would it?"
Professor Su glanced at Su Tao. "Then do you like her?"
"I... I don't know."
Compared to liking, the emotion of fear was actually what she felt more tangibly.
Well, it seemed before becoming the attending physician, she'd have to act as a psychological counselor first.
Fortunately, Professor Su had experience in this area and said directly, "That little one's main problem is a lack of love. It's not something you can solve just by 'watching over her,' understood?"
"Not to mention addressing the root cause, even just treating the symptoms."
"If you can't see your own feelings clearly, if you hesitate, it won't have any therapeutic effect on her. It will only hurt her again and again, understand?"
Su Tao said nothing, just lowered her head even further.
The professor said, "Since you don't like her, what do you do every time she confesses to you or says affectionate words to you? Do you deceive her by saying you like her, or do you evade her?"
"Rather than that, you'd be better off letting go and finding her a boyfriend, or a girlfriend."
"Oriental Yang isn't bad. Even out of sympathy, he'd treat that Chi girl well."
When Su Tao heard that Chi Xiaocheng should be given to Oriental Yang, she immediately grew anxious. "No... no, Xiaocheng can't be given to Oriental Yang."
Professor Su rolled her eyes at Su Tao. "Then who do you want to give her to?"
"I..." Su Tao hesitated repeatedly, instinctively wanting to evade again. But when she looked up and met Professor Su's slightly narrowed eyes, feeling the faint pressure, she still followed her inner thoughts and said, "I don't want to give her to anyone."
"Then find the little one's other relatives. I remember she has a brother, doesn't she? If her brother can't do it, then call her parents over."
At this, Su Tao grew even more anxious.
"No... no, we can't let Brother Chi Song and Uncle and Auntie come over."
She had just promised to take care of Xiaocheng.
Both Brother Chi Song and Mother Chi had stated, either before leaving or during phone calls, that since they weren't here, Xiaocheng was entrusted to her.
Given Chi Xiaocheng's current condition, Su Tao felt ashamed to face these "family members" who cared so much for Chi Xiaocheng and also for her.
Professor Su heard this, then slammed her palm down on the table. "This won't do! That won't do! What exactly do you want?!"
"You can't bring yourself to love her, you don't want others to love her, and you think her own family shouldn't love her!"
"Forget Chi Xiaocheng, even Oriental Yang would be driven to his death by you!"
Su Tao shrank her neck, completely at a loss for words.
Her own contradictions were something she herself felt.
On one hand, she feared Chi Xiaocheng; on the other, she depended on her.
Professor Su quietly stood up, her expression returning to normal. "That little one is still weak now, but she should be able to speak and eat in a couple of days. I advise you to think carefully these next two days. If she doesn't get the answer she wants..."
"Refusing to cooperate with treatment is the best way to attempt suicide."
Leaving that remark, Professor Su walked towards the door.
However, her steps were a little slow, and the corners of her mouth, as she turned away, silently counted "3-2-1".
Just as she was about to reach the door, counting to 1, Su Tao indeed spoke. "Doctor, what if I... what if I pretend to like her?"
Professor Su turned around indifferently. "If you're prepared to be discovered at any moment and lose her, I have no objection."
That short sentence reminded Su Tao again of Chi Xiaocheng's question on Binjiang Bridge.
—Is your liking for me just an act?
And the suicide note, it also mentioned this point.
Su Tao remained silent for a long time, her hands hidden under the quilt trembling slightly. "Then, Doctor, what... what should I do?"
"Force yourself to fall in love with her."
"Is that the only way?"
"Sending her to a psychiatric hospital is also a good method."
With that, Professor Su left the ward without looking back, leaving Su Tao sitting alone on the hospital bed, feeling empty and desolate.
Outside, Doctor Wang, who had been waiting for a long time, asked, "Professor Su, isn't forcing her to like Chi Xiaocheng a bit too extreme? Matters of emotion are hard to dictate, aren't they?"
Professor Su replied ungraciously, "I'm just forcing her to face her own feelings, that's all."
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