Chapter 211 208. A Mother’s Worries
An Han walked somewhat stiffly beside her mother.
The black low-rise jeans accentuated the curves of her lower body, while a white hoodie on top concealed most of her upper figure. Even so, she still looked a bit uneasy. Wearing women’s clothes in front of her family always filled her with a strange sense of shame and nervousness.
The male mindset she once had hadn’t completely faded; it was still buried deep inside her. Every time she dressed in men’s clothes and hung out with her roommates and friends, she would unconsciously straighten up.
It was almost as if she had developed two personalities. An Han herself didn’t know whether the masculine version of her in front of her classmates, or the girlish version of her in front of Su Peng, was the real disguise.
“Mom, why is big brother’s butt so perky~”
And on top of that, there was her younger sister—innocent and clueless—who stabbed right at her most embarrassing spot with the most vicious words.
“And it sways back and forth when he walks!”
An Han’s steps faltered. Her face flushed red as she forced herself to calm down and changed her walking posture back to the wide, careless gait she used to have.
But it was completely useless. Her body was fundamentally different from a man’s now. No matter how rough her posture was, her hips still gently swayed with every step.
Since she couldn’t change herself, she simply slapped the back of her sister’s head.
“Mom! Big brother hit me!”
“Call her ‘sister,’” their mother said as she turned back, a gentle smile in her eyes. “Stop fooling around.”
“Oh.”
Her mischievous little sister kept making a fuss, while An Han held onto one of her hands tightly, afraid the kid might get lost in the bustling night market.
That night, their mother had deliberately brought An Han out to buy clothes, and also to stroll around the night market near the school.
“Sis, want some milk tea?”
“Yes!”
An Han led her sister to the milk tea shop. While waiting for her sister to choose, she turned back and asked: 《〵羣器尔 厁磷飼（%九）鳍傘泗 “Mom, do you want some?”
“I won’t. You two should drink less of that random stuff.”
In the instant she turned back, An Han clearly caught the worry on her mother’s face.
Only when facing her and her sister did her mother show that gentle, understanding expression…
Pretending not to notice, An Han lowered her head and said to her sister, “Hurry up. You’re taking forever just to pick a milk tea.”
“Then… this one? Strawberry milk cap!”
While waiting for the staff to make the drinks, An Han left her sister and walked over to her mother.
Even now, she still found it hard to believe how open-minded her mother was. After silently choosing her words, she finally asked, “What about the relatives…?”
“I’ll handle them,” her mother replied with a smile.
Her mother looked at An Han’s face—the pretty yet somewhat unfamiliar features—and let out a soft sigh. “Since you’ve become a girl, you have to get used to it.”
“Think clearly about the road ahead. You can’t keep muddling through like before.”
“…” An Han only nodded.
“Do you plan to get married in the future?”
The question startled her. She shook her head hastily. “N-no, probably not?”
After rejecting it so strongly, she lowered her head again. “It… depends on you.”
“Why are you looking at me for your own matters?” The gentleness on her mother’s face gradually faded, replaced by worry about An Han’s future. “If you were still a boy, I could relax. But now you’re…”
“Let’s not talk about that. I’m only twenty.”
An Han resisted thinking about the future.
She hadn’t even fully accepted her female mindset yet—there was no room in her head for anything else.
“Sis! Milk tea!”
Her sister ran back holding two cups. “Sis! Let me try yours too!”
“Okay.” An Han stuck the straw into the cup, let her sister take a sip, then took it back without minding that the straw had already been used.
“In weather like this, you’re still drinking something cold?”
“It’s fine.”
“You’ll know whether it’s fine or not when it starts hurting.”
At that, An Han looked particularly proud. “It won’t!”
What she once thought was the most useless system reward had now become her license to eat and drink recklessly.
She was on her period that day, yet she could eat whatever she wanted without worrying about cramps at all.
“Oh right, my dad…” An Han suddenly thought of her father.
“Should we tell him?” she asked hesitantly. “He should be back for the New Year, right?”
Her father worked overseas all year round and only came back once every year or two.
As the only son, her father had doted on her a great deal. Though they hadn’t seen each other often, he had been secretly giving her plenty of pocket money since middle school. Even now, her college living expenses were paid by him.
Their relationship was fairly good—more or less bought with money—but the relationship between her parents was not.
“He… you should tell him yourself. Or let your uncle tell him.”
An Han chickened out. “Let’s hide it for now.”
“Has he been calling you lately? What does he say?”
“He usually calls once every week or two,” An Han reported honestly. “Just asks if I’m short on money, how my studies are going, how my sister’s grades are.”
“Mm.”
Her mother nodded and looked at her with a somewhat strange gaze, which immediately put An Han on guard.
“What is it?”
“That Su Peng… do you like him?”
An Han shook her head furiously, her face burning red. “No, how could I!”
“He probably likes you.”
She kept shaking her head. “Impossible. We’re just ordinary friends.”
Her mother warned her worriedly, “Whether that’s true or not, you’d better not date. It’s easy to get fooled by men.”
“If there’s a boy you like, bring him to me. Don’t just listen to sweet talk.”
“I know, I know.” An Han nodded repeatedly.
I was a man too, she thought. How could I not know these things?
Men like Chen Junjie, who changed girlfriends all the time, were obviously the kind her mother meant—full of sweet words.
But in fact, most men were pretty simple-minded…
She argued silently against her mother in her heart, but out loud she suggested, “My feet are sore. Should we go back?”
“No rush. How about getting your hair done? Dress up a bit, look prettier?”
“Uh…”
An Han touched her hair. “Isn’t it a bit too short?”
And if she really dressed herself up completely as a girl, who knew what her classmates would say?
Yet she hesitated…
Her mother didn’t care about that hesitation. She grabbed An Han’s hand. “Let’s go. A girl should look like a girl. What are you supposed to be like this?”
“But my classmates…”
“Why care about them?”
Well… maybe starting to wear women’s clothes in front of her classmates now would make things easier later, when she fully switched to a female identity—or even moved into a girls’ dorm. They wouldn’t be overly shocked then.
As for gossip and rumors, she had already heard plenty during this time. A bit more didn’t matter.
Her hesitation was broken by her mother’s assertiveness. She realized she actually liked strong-willed people—whether it was her mother or Su Peng.
After all, she suffered from decision paralysis. Strong people could help her make choices.
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